Our Questionable Merchandise 🛒

Sink your teeth into the “Sloppy Mike’s Fresh Peaches” sticker – ripe, cheeky, and served with a wink. For those who like their fruit firm, their jokes dirty, and their style extra juicy. Guaranteed to turn heads and stir up trouble. Made from thick, tough-as-nails vinyl with a slick matte finish, they’re built to survive whatever you slap ‘em on—toolboxes, tailgates, bathroom stalls, or your cousin’s wedding gift. Indoors or out, rain or regret, they’re staying put. And with the easy-peel backing? Even Mike can manage it one-handed (usually while double-fisting a burrito). Stick it and send a message.  

Set sail with chaotic pride in this “Sloppy Mike’s Seamen” tee—perfect for those with a love for nautical nonsense and questionable crew names. Soft, comfy, and full of salty humor, it’s a guaranteed conversation starter (or ender) at any port of call. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed Tee Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Set sail with chaotic pride in this “Sloppy Mike’s Seamen” tee—perfect for those with a love for nautical nonsense and questionable crew names. Soft, comfy, and full of salty humor, it’s a guaranteed conversation starter (or ender) at any port of call. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Get your daily dose with the “Sloppy Mike’s Vitamin D” tee – sunshine, sass, and just the right amount of inappropriateness. For those who like their supplements served hot and heavy. Warning: may cause intense smiling and vitamin-fueled winks. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Get your daily dose with the “Sloppy Mike’s Vitamin D” tee – sunshine, sass, and just the right amount of inappropriateness. For those who like their supplements served hot and heavy. Warning: may cause intense smiling and vitamin-fueled winks. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed Tee Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Hold on tight for Sloppy Mike’s Zipper Ride! This wild tee captures all the spins, screams, and sketchy carnival energy you can handle. Bold colors, bad decisions, and a guaranteed good time — just like every ride at Sloppy Mike’s Midway of Mayhem. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Hold on tight for Sloppy Mike’s Zipper Ride! This wild tee captures all the spins, screams, and sketchy carnival energy you can handle. Bold colors, bad decisions, and a guaranteed good time — just like every ride at Sloppy Mike’s Midway of Mayhem. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Messy. Legendary. Unapologetic. This tee celebrates the ultimate title—Pie Eating Champion—where manners don’t matter and going all in is the only rule. Inspired by vintage fair posters and back-alley bragging rights, it’s built for those who show up hungry and leave unforgettable. Slide into comfort, Sloppy Mike’s style! This unisex tee is softer than your ex’s excuses and built to last longer than your weekend hangover. 100% cotton for the classics, a touch of polyester for the heathers—no seams to split, no collars curling up on you. Just a smooth, durable shirt that’s ready for ball games and bad decisions.

Messy. Legendary. Unapologetic. This tee celebrates the ultimate title—Pie Eating Champion—where manners don’t matter and going all in is the only rule. Inspired by vintage fair posters and back-alley bragging rights, it’s built for those who show up hungry and leave unforgettable. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Sloppy Mikes Urban Safari tee is made for those brave enough to explore the wild side of town. Featuring our Urban Safari design, it’s perfect for questionable adventures, unexpected wildlife, and nights that probably shouldn’t have a paper trail. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Sloppy Mikes Urban Safari tee is made for those brave enough to explore the wild side of town. Featuring our Urban Safari design, it’s perfect for questionable adventures, unexpected wildlife, and nights that probably shouldn’t have a paper trail. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Clam Slam tee celebrates the kind of bedroom technique that requires confidence, commitment, and absolutely no explanation the next morning. Perfect for anyone who knows when the lights go down, it’s time to bring out the signature move. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.