Our Questionable Merchandise 🛒

Hold on tight for Sloppy Mike’s Zipper Ride! This wild tee captures all the spins, screams, and sketchy carnival energy you can handle. Bold colors, bad decisions, and a guaranteed good time — just like every ride at Sloppy Mike’s Midway of Mayhem. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Messy. Legendary. Unapologetic. This hoodie celebrates the ultimate title—Pie Eating Champion—where manners don’t matter and going all in is the only rule. Inspired by vintage fair posters and back-alley bragging rights, it’s built for those who show up hungry and leave unforgettable. Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.

Messy. Legendary. Unapologetic. This tee celebrates the ultimate title—Pie Eating Champion—where manners don’t matter and going all in is the only rule. Inspired by vintage fair posters and back-alley bragging rights, it’s built for those who show up hungry and leave unforgettable. Slide into comfort, Sloppy Mike’s style! This unisex tee is softer than your ex’s excuses and built to last longer than your weekend hangover. 100% cotton for the classics, a touch of polyester for the heathers—no seams to split, no collars curling up on you. Just a smooth, durable shirt that’s ready for ball games and bad decisions.

Messy. Legendary. Unapologetic. This tee celebrates the ultimate title—Pie Eating Champion—where manners don’t matter and going all in is the only rule. Inspired by vintage fair posters and back-alley bragging rights, it’s built for those who show up hungry and leave unforgettable. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Class meets questionable with this Sloppy Mike’s sticker. Featuring a sleek martini glass, gold accents, and a touch of neon pink glow, it’s perfect for cars, laptops, and coolers. Durable, weatherproof vinyl for bold style anywhere. Made from thick, tough-as-nails vinyl with a slick matte finish, they’re built to survive whatever you slap ‘em on—toolboxes, tailgates, bathroom stalls, or your cousin’s wedding gift. Indoors or out, rain or regret, they’re staying put. And with the easy-peel backing? Even Mike can manage it one-handed (usually while double-fisting a burrito). Stick it and send a message.  

Class meets questionable with this Sloppy Mike’s sticker. Featuring a sleek martini glass, gold accents, and a touch of neon pink glow, it’s perfect for cars, laptops, and coolers. Durable, weatherproof vinyl for bold style anywhere. Made from thick, tough-as-nails vinyl with a slick matte finish, they’re built to survive whatever you slap ‘em on—toolboxes, tailgates, bathroom stalls, or your cousin’s wedding gift. Indoors or out, rain or regret, they’re staying put. And with the easy-peel backing? Even Mike can manage it one-handed (usually while double-fisting a burrito). Stick it and send a message.  

Add a little class to your questionable decisions. This Sloppy Mike’s premium vinyl sticker features an elegant martini glass design with gold detailing and a subtle neon pink glow. High-end cocktail lounge vibes with just the right amount of attitude. Made from thick, tough-as-nails vinyl with a slick matte finish, they’re built to survive whatever you slap ‘em on—toolboxes, tailgates, bathroom stalls, or your cousin’s wedding gift. Indoors or out, rain or regret, they’re staying put. And with the easy-peel backing? Even Mike can manage it one-handed (usually while double-fisting a burrito). Stick it and send a message.  

Add a little class to your questionable decisions. This Sloppy Mike’s premium magnetr features an elegant martini glass design with and a neon pink glow. High-end cocktail lounge vibes with just the right amount of attitude. Stick your personality where it doesn’t belong. These flexible little beasts slap onto any metal surface like a drunken high-five — fridges, toolboxes, tailgates, or your ex’s dishwasher. Durable enough to survive garage grime, beer spills, and Aunt Linda’s judgment. Whether you’re repping Sloppy style in the kitchen or the man cave, these magnets bring the chaos and cling like a bad decision.  

Unleash your wild side with the ultimate power tee: Bold, brash, and unforgettable — this shirt is for those who don’t whisper, they roar. Say it loud. Say it proud. ThunderCunt energy only. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Unleash your wild side with the ultimate powersticker: Bold, brash, and unforgettable — this sticker is for those who don’t whisper, they roar. Say it loud. Say it proud. ThunderCunt energy only.  These blank stickers are great for both indoor and outdoor use as they are made with thick, resistant, laminate vinyl material. The easy-peel backing makes for great ease of use, while the matte finish helps your designs look sleek on any surface.  

Unleash your wild side with the ultimate power tee: Bold, brash, and unforgettable — this shirt is for those who don’t whisper, they roar. Say it loud. Say it proud. ThunderCunt energy only. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.

Unleash your wild side with the ultimate power tee: Bold, brash, and unforgettable — this shirt is for those who don’t whisper, they roar. Say it loud. Say it proud. ThunderCunt energy only. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.