Our Questionable Merchandise 🛒

Get a handful of laughs with the “Sloppy Mike’s Salty Nuts” tee – lightly roasted, heavily inappropriate, and always fresh. Guaranteed to crack smiles and raise eyebrows. Warning: may cause uncontrollable snacking jokes. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Set sail with chaotic pride in this “Sloppy Mike’s Seamen” tee—perfect for those with a love for nautical nonsense and questionable crew names. Soft, comfy, and full of salty humor, it’s a guaranteed conversation starter (or ender) at any port of call. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Set sail with chaotic pride in this “Sloppy Mike’s Seamen” tee—perfect for those with a love for nautical nonsense and questionable crew names. Soft, comfy, and full of salty humor, it’s a guaranteed conversation starter (or ender) at any port of call. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed Tee Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Set sail with chaotic pride in this “Sloppy Mike’s Seamen” hoodie—perfect for those with a love for nautical nonsense and questionable crew names. Soft, comfy, and full of salty humor, it’s a guaranteed conversation starter (or ender) at any port of call. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it. 

Get your daily dose with the “Sloppy Mike’s Vitamin D” tee – sunshine, sass, and just the right amount of inappropriateness. For those who like their supplements served hot and heavy. Warning: may cause intense smiling and vitamin-fueled winks. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed Tee Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Get your daily dose with the “Sloppy Mike’s Vitamin D” hoodie – sunshine, sass, and just the right amount of inappropriateness. For those who like their supplements served hot and heavy. Warning: may cause intense smiling and vitamin-fueled winks. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it. 

Get your daily dose with the “Sloppy Mike’s Vitamin D” tee – sunshine, sass, and just the right amount of inappropriateness. For those who like their supplements served hot and heavy. Warning: may cause intense smiling and vitamin-fueled winks. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Spoon into something smooth with the “Sloppy Mike’s Organic Yogurt” hoodie – creamy, cultured, and just the right amount of wrong. Perfect for probiotic lovers with a filthy sense of humor. No preservatives, just perversion. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it. 

Spoon into something smooth with the “Sloppy Mike’s Organic Yogurt” tee – creamy, cultured, and just the right amount of wrong. Perfect for probiotic lovers with a filthy sense of humor. No preservatives, just perversion. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Spoon into something smooth with the “Sloppy Mike’s Organic Yogurt” tee – creamy, cultured, and just the right amount of wrong. Perfect for probiotic lovers with a filthy sense of humor. No preservatives, just perversion. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed Tee Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Hold on tight for Sloppy Mike’s Zipper Ride! This wild tee captures all the spins, screams, and sketchy carnival energy you can handle. Bold colors, bad decisions, and a guaranteed good time — just like every ride at Sloppy Mike’s Midway of Mayhem. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Hold on tight for Sloppy Mike’s Zipper Ride! This wild hoodie captures all the spins, screams, and sketchy carnival energy you can handle. Bold colors, bad decisions, and a guaranteed good time — just like every ride at Sloppy Mike’s Midway of Mayhem. Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.