Our Questionable Merchandise 🛒

Embrace the chaos with this "Dumpster Muppet" shirt — a gritty, hilarious tribute to lovable disaster energy. Perfect for those thriving in the mess and owning every second of it. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Embrace the chaos with this "Dumpster Muppet" sticker — a gritty, hilarious tribute to lovable disaster energy. Perfect for those thriving in the mess and owning every second of it. Made from thick, tough-as-nails vinyl with a slick matte finish, they’re built to survive whatever you slap ‘em on—toolboxes, tailgates, bathroom stalls, or your cousin’s wedding gift. Indoors or out, rain or regret, they’re staying put. And with the easy-peel backing? Even Mike can manage it one-handed (usually while double-fisting a burrito). Stick it and send a message.  

Embrace the chaos with this "Dumpster Muppet" hoodie — a gritty, hilarious tribute to lovable disaster energy. Perfect for those thriving in the mess and owning every second of it. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.   

Show off your playful side with the “I’m Not a Toy, I’m an Action Figure” tee! Bold, funny, and full of attitude, this shirt is perfect for anyone who stands tall, kicks ass, and refuses to be put back in the box. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Show off your playful side with the “I’m Not a Toy, I’m an Action Figure” tee! Bold, funny, and full of attitude, this shirt is perfect for anyone who stands tall, kicks ass, and refuses to be put back in the box. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Show off your playful side with the “I’m Not a Toy, I’m an Action Figure” hoodie! Bold, funny, and full of attitude, this shirt is perfect for anyone who stands tall, kicks ass, and refuses to be put back in the box. Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.

Classy? No. Honest? Absolutely. This tee says what your scratchers can't: “I play the lotto to afford hookers and blow.” For those who dream big, live wild, and have zero shame in their game. It's degenerate chic at its finest. Sloppy Mike’s Garment-Dyed TeeSoft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Classy? No. Honest? Absolutely. This tee says what your scratchers can't: “I play the lotto to afford hookers and blow.” For those who dream big, live wild, and have zero shame in their game. It's degenerate chic at its finest. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies) A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.

Classy? No. Honest? Absolutely. This hoodie says what your scratchers can't: “I play the lotto to afford hookers and blow.” For those who dream big, live wild, and have zero shame in their game. It's degenerate chic at its finest. Sloppy Mike’s Heavy Blend Hoodie Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it. 

Stretch Marks & Dollar Bills isn’t a joke—it’s a résumé. This vintage-inspired tee features bold, distressed lettering with gold highlights and a sleek gold dancer silhouette, celebrating confidence that’s been earned, not filtered. Designed for those who know real value comes from experience, hustle, and showing up. Soft, durable, and guaranteed to turn heads wherever hard work meets good times. Soft-washed and garment-dyed like it’s been through some things—because it has. This 100% ring-spun cotton bad boy is cozy enough to nap in and tough enough to survive whatever the night throws at you. The relaxed fit says, “I’m chill,” while the double-needle stitching and tubular shape say, “But I’ll still hold it together when you can’t.” No side seams, no worries, just pure sloppy comfort.

Stretch Marks & Dollar Bills isn’t a joke—it’s a résumé. This vintage-inspired tee features bold, distressed lettering with gold highlights and a sleek gold dancer silhouette, celebrating confidence that’s been earned, not filtered. Designed for those who know real value comes from experience, hustle, and showing up. Soft, durable, and guaranteed to turn heads wherever hard work meets good times. Sloppy Mike’s Softstyle Tee (For the Ladies)A classic tee with a little extra tease. The sleeves are trimmed to show off just enough shoulder to make ‘em wonder, “Was that on purpose?” Made from 100% ringspun cotton that's softer than Mike’s pickup lines, this one’s built to last with twill-taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that holds tight—unlike your last situationship. Wear it out, wear it to bed, wear it like you don’t care.  

Stretch Marks & Dollar Bills isn’t a joke—it’s a résumé. This vintage-inspired hoodie features bold, distressed lettering with gold highlights and a sleek gold dancer silhouette, celebrating confidence that’s been earned, not filtered. Designed for those who know real value comes from experience, hustle, and showing up. Soft, durable, and guaranteed to turn heads wherever hard work meets good times. Wrap yourself in regret and relaxation. This thick-ass hoodie mixes cotton, polyester, and bad decisions into one soft, plush pile of warmth—perfect for cold mornings after hotter nights. The front kangaroo pocket holds whatever you’re hiding, and the matching drawstrings say, “I tried today. Kinda.” Cozy up, cover up, or crash in it.